So adorable even when he forgot to sing his part.. Can see that they're really tired, and this whole breaking news shit is tiring them further. Something bad's gonna happen? Oh no please..
Anyway, my favourite girls are back (:
That arrow dance is seriously hot stuff. Fany looks grrrrreat with that hair and Yoona is hawt as ever! Didn't really like Hyo's hair though.. :'( And Yuri.. needless to say! <3
I guess i'm really not over it. And i only just realized. When things like this sets in, i'll start to wonder "Who can i turn to now?" Cuz honestly, i've been acting like it's done and it's fine and that I'm fine. But seriously? Far from it.
I can't, i really can't. What other distractions are there? To keep me occupied, to keep me sane, to keep my mind away from everything else. To keep the pain away.. I feel really crappy now, and this is like a repeated torment. Something that happens all the time, at unexpected moments :'( What can i do to make it better?
Oh god give me the strength please.
xoxo,W that's another place for me not to visit. I have so many, i'm starting to lose count.
Don't wanna feel those crazy heartwrenching moments again. Ever. Yesterday was a whole load of craziness coming one after another. First jjong, then that stupid rumor about Taem -.- Then again, why does it feel so... odd?
Ahh well anyway, this whole club thing was an eye opener for me. I see so many different kinds of people every meetup. Some nice, some weird, some extremely sweet... I saw this couple, the guy was really supportive and all... And the things that he'll do to actually show that he supports his girlfriend was like.. awww? Aigoo when i saw them i was like "oh manz.. why he so sweet?!"
Yeahhhh man, i want someone like that.. *enters dream mode*
stay indoors, equip ourselves with snacks and just watch videos to pass time
i can spazz over the guys and he can go crazy over the girls
and we'll have unlimited things to talk about..
You know? Like have a common interest! Nowadays whenever i'm out and hear random kpop songs playing in shops, i spazz a little inside and i always do a quick scan to see if the people around me are as crazy as me. And half the time they're not :( Unless if i'm with the girls <3 There's a never-ending topic for us to talk about (:
Anywayz, I wanna finish up all the WGM episodes that i've downloaded by tonight (: Since there's no school tmrw :DDD
Can't wait for MB tmrw. The babes are back in the game. HOOT! 훗 (Sica and Yuri are seriously smexy)
xoxo,W
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
:/ Pretends to be seasick and decorates the place just for her. 아이고~ So sweet!
Remember when i said i like Yongseo more than Khuntoria? Yeah well i actually can't decide. Both are equally as sweet -.- Cute-sweet and sweet-sweet. Geddit? Khun just sang for her and surprised her with a car, omgahh?
Anyway, am gonna meet the clique in town, then the girls at Dhoby tmrw <3 I like simple life like that. Just chilling and hanging around doing nothing (:
I need a miracle. Things haven't been going that well lately, and problems are coming one after another. Feels like nothing is working out at all :'( Miracle please?
No school tmrw and on Weds. I'm gonna sleep till as late as i can and seriously catch up on my sleep. My dark circles and eyebags are no joke anymore.
adlkjsowuiahskdjnmznxlasid!! KPOPNIGHT CONCERT LAST NIGHT WAS A B-B-B-BLASSSTTT! My baby sang Jjong's part for Lucifer (held his breath for 12s!) and was so proud of himself after that! <3 <3 <3
Eeeesh why so cute!
And all of them are like walking gods. I love my standing position actually.. At least i get to see them damn close when they walk down the stage to the other stage (: ALL OF THEM LOOKED LIKE GODS & GODDESSES!
Hyoyeon was seriously pretty last night! Loving her more each time manz! And as expected, snsd was hawt stuff and when they appeared, the fanboys went from crazy to crazier! I screamed like an idiot for them too though, hehe! I love snsd okayyy, not just boy groups.
So anywayzzz, Lesley's "KIBUM" LED board has gained her a lot of attention! Key saw her board, walked down from the main stage and onto the extenstion, pointed at her and smiled! !@#$^%&*(&^%$# Next time i'm gonna do a TAEMIN LED board too ^^
Oh and, KARAM WAVED INTO MY CAM! (can't see his eyes cause my quality was damn bad since everyone was pushing and shoving around) But wtfzxzxzx, he's so cute!
I wish Taem would wave into my camera too. Then i'll die happy. Heh.
TAEMIN HAS GROWN UP ALREADY! He can sing well now (: Well enough to sing Jjong's part! Whaddaya think! I was so happy when i saw him sing jjong's part (especially the 12s breath holding part for Lucifer) that my eyes were welling up! Unknowingly somemore.. Damnz, he's awesome.
Key and Taem were so cute yesterday.. Key held Taem's hands and hugged him. Awwwzzxzxzx. Mother & Son love.
Okayz, i will upload all the pictures and videos up tmrw. ^^
Too many things are screwing up and problems are coming one after another. At times like this i wish time would stop, just for a little while. And i get reaaallllyyyy demoralized when things don't work out -.- But the thought of being able to see him in 2 days time, makes everything a hell lot better. Teehee ^^ *disgusting fangirl mode, ON*
Anyway, Solomon and i had a farewell lunch treat by Julian and Gordon (: I really like talking to them, feels as though we can click well! And Julian drove me to AMK for my night doorknocking session with Clara (yesssss i love his car!) He actually told me "Actually i think you're really good at telemarketing. You can speak very well" HAHAHAHAHA yayzxzx
Okay so tmrw i'm gonna give out surveys at Jurong Point (Brandon's homeplace, LOL) and once i finish 100 copies i can leave. COME ON WAIYIN! For the sake of the meetups and the settling of everything, i'm gonna do whatever it takes to end work early. And tmrw's the last day omggggg thankgod. Internship is killing me and draining all my energy -.-
Okay, gotta go get busy now. HT is showing alreadyyyyy!
Goodnight! And i really hope that all the rumors about jjong & top & minho not coming to SG is fake. I realllyyy hope so.
xoxo,W
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
I feel like i'm reliving that period of time again. Pain, heartache, tears, crap. Yeah you get what i mean. Bottomless pit all over again. What's happening to me?
I miss you.
And the 1 thing i've been telling myself for the past 1 year is to let you go and let everything pass. But who am i kidding? I thought i was fine. Yeah well, i thought.
It's a lot harder than i thought, and it's taking longer than i expected. But surprisingly the pain feels the same. That horrible, raw pain.
So exhausted now, mentally & physically. I can't wait for Internship to end, but then again, school's gonna start. I'm so sick of internship because firstly, the pay is crap, and secondly the hours are reallllllyyy long -.- But i know i'll miss them, which is why i'm going back to work part time (cuz of various reasons)
My dark circles are covering half of my face, my eyebags are reaching the ground. Yet everyday i sleep at a weird hour, and force myself out of bed every morning. And now things are going haywire and idk what i can do to make it better :'( Really need that extra motivation but from where? -.-
Anywayyyy, SATURDAY IS COMING! I'm gonna make sure i enjoy myself to the fullest on that day ^^ Gonna see the Boyz, especially my baby! (: Can't wait! Seriously! Taem will make everything better <3
Yeah okay enough of me blabbering about how much i wanna see him. I should start getting serious and come up with a solution with the girls :/ I hope we turn into Gods overnight and work a miracle on those shirts. Seriously..
Things are getting harder. At times i'll think to myself "things are getting a lot better, my thoughts are more controlled and i'm getting the hang of this" But there's always this darker side lingering around. And it'll always be "can't get over it, can't cope, can't take this" I'm starting to doubt that i'll ever get back on track. Cuz right now i don't know where i'm heading, and i can't get back. It's as though my heart controls my mind and there's nothing i can do to stop it. I'm not supposed to feel like this. I thought i've gotten over it and things were brightening up but no.
The things that run through my mind at night scares me. And i wake up every morning feeling as though a part of me has died all over again. Time and again, i fall back into this bottomless pit. What are my chances of getting out for real? Honestly... Zilch.
Too exhausted to do anything else. But i like being this tired. I like how i don't think about stuffs. Which is why i agreed to work for the company again when school reopens. Becuz being tired is the only way my heart remains unhurt. This'll work. It has to!
Gonna keep myself busy busy busy busy. The busier the better.
Can't ever watch a single episode of WGM without feeling horrible. It always feels as though something is missing (and i know there is) but there's really nothing i can do about it. It always makes me feel.... strange. Like i'll miss you all over again.
xoxo,W what am i supposed to do at times like these?
Timetable selection settled! TB10 with the clique (: School life is gonna rock all over again manzxz.
Oh here's something that made me LOL to myself all of a sudden. Hyun : "Come back soon~" Yong : "If i don't come back, just assume that i fell into the water" HAHAHAHA gotta love yong even more now!
I think i like yongseo slightly more than khuntoria cuz yong is so....awww?! I mean yah, khun is very sweet and all but i think Yong is whoa! Hahaha. Don't get what i mean anyway.. I love both couples. Megaaaaa. Not forgetting the adam couple also lah, but that i'm not so hardcore.
ANYWAYYY. WEIKAI JUST MADE MY DAY! (or night) THANKZXZXZXZX! Now i can have my baby's picture on my home page whooooo! Okay bye! (:
SHINEEWORLDSG's 1st batch of Sticky sold out in 6 hours! <3 Shawols are really awesome for supporting us!
Anyway, 2nd batch is already on it's way! Cuz we rushed down to straight away to Sticky once our 1st batch was sold out. Apologies to those who came and it was already out of stock :'(
Andddd, 2nd batch is seriously gonna be daebak! Even before it's produced, i'm damn tempted to buy it already. It's really pretty, really awesome, and really really one of a kind. Can't get it anywhere else (promise) cuz we really talked to the boss and his wife to help us with this 2nd batch (: And they're really nice people btw! So thankful (:
Gonna be a personal supplier tmrw to pass albums to the Pasir Ris shawols.
(abrupt change in topic/mood/everything)
I actually really like what i'm doing now. It takes everything off my mind cuz i'll be too busy with the albums, the meetups, the candies and all. I have no time to let my thoughts run wild. And i really like it when i can fall asleep the minute my head touches the pillow. I like that a lot. Too many sleepless nights before. This is how i keep my thoughts far and the pain away. My heart needs a break. I need a break. I'm running out of tears..
Hey Shawols out there, please support our Gift Project by getting one of these cute packs of Sticky! (: Customized, and we're giving it to the boys as well. Flavour : Grape Price : $5
I think it's really cute and i'm so glad we actually decided to do it (: Hardwork paid off after all!
So anyway, today was really awesome (minus the fact that depression caught up with me).
Dad sent me to work
Favourite YongTauFoo for lunch with Kat, Solomon & Jade
Made 3 appointments
Dad picked me up and sent us down to Yishun MRT
Distributed Albums and sold our Sticky (:
Collected my Hello Repackaged and Ukiss's Album!
Got Kiseop's photocardddddddddddd!
Met up with the beloved Clique @ Newton Circus
Baby looked so adorable in today's Mubank.
Couldn't believe that i actually felt so depressed in the office today after lunch. Practically turned into a really angsty bitch. Sat there and stared at my calling list before i went into the toilet and the angry tears just came. I don't even know why. Seriously, i think i'm losing my mind. Stress? Idk. Really have no idea.
But everything became better once work ended. I swear i'm dreading to go work, especially when the Kiseop guy isn't there :'(
Met up with the girls @ Yishun and sold our Sticky and distributed the albums (: Awwwwwww~
Okay sorry for the lousy quality of the pictures cuz i took it straight from my phone. Was too excited about it i didn't really bother about picture quality. This is all about luck, seriously. When i bought the lucifer album, i got Taem's Photocard. And now i got Kiseop's! (: Me likey. ALOT.
Dinner @ Newton Circus with the favourite clique was (as usual) awesome. It's nice having them around, i always end up laughing myself silly. Especially with their nonsense and whatnots.
Kong who will always utter nonsense and act like he's drunk (and download all sorts of games and weird stuffs on my phone to entertain himself, and always forgets to delete them -.-)
Shawn who always has his own newly-formed words and weird logics (basically living in his own world)
Flo who is always our DaJie, who comes late and leaves early (HAHAHHA i'm gonna die)
Franky who is like the shellfish addict..
Jaryl who is the richest guy among us (he sponsored $20 for Flo and my cab fare home. Awww??!)
Xiaoting who is usually unable to catch up with what our joke is (hahaha!)
Yuming who doesn't dare to go home alone (and even tried to psycho all of us to acc him till the next morning -.- )
Okay omg i'm so sleepy now i'm typing in pieces. Gotta meet the girls @ cityhall tmrw for the next meetup session for more selling of sticky and distribution of albums (:
I feel like i'm an insurance agent now. I go and meet people and sell them Sticky. Except, i don't have commission for doing this. LOL. Kayz bye. Prolly gonna make a trip down to Bedok to pass them their sticky (:
BTW! MY BABY LOOKS SO ADORABLE IN TODAY'S MUBANK! He's back to his Juliette hairstyle... Not my fav, but he pulls it off well. Yeah well he can make the ugliest hairstyle look... nice.
Mrs Tan just made me laugh to myself at 12.21am. Missed her so much! Didn't get to see her on Teachers' Day cuz she was really busy with her courses, so we left her a card and gifts (: And she finally received it today and sent me a text. A really nice text actually.
"Hey thankyou for your wonderful Teachers' Day card. I really appreciated your gesture of appreciation. That's always something that will melt a teacher's heart. Tell Leon i'm praying for him as he takes his A Levels. Can't wait to catch up with all of you! Have a break from poly? -Emily"
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
And so we talked.. about internship and how my life is shortened becuz of telemarketing..
Her : "Great Eastern? Do what?" Me : "Telemarketing.. :( " Her : "Aiyah you mean cold calls! Hahahah good luck! Hope you'll find a good boyfriend in between!" Me : "HAHAHAAH! No cute guys in the office! :( Oh but calling gets fun once in awhile"
Actually got 1 cute guy la.. but yah.. HAHAHA Okay Waiyin stop it ah!
Lesley and i are busy mindfucking each other. I just did up one long post and now she's editing it, and adding on to it. Haha, yeah that's what we do for the boys.
I know i'm lagging behind about this MV cuz i've got no time to glue my ass infront of the laptop anymore.. BUT THIS MV IS FUCKING AWESOME! Omg love their synchronizing seriously! ANDDDDDDD IT FOCUSED ON KISEOP'S DANCING OMGAAHHH! (which is almost like solo dance) I'm sorry i didn't take note of the other 2 beside him, cuz.. yeahh, well. y'know... too engrossed already.
Oh okay now that i watched it again, it's Eli and Soohyun.
BTW, solomon got to leave work at 4.30pm today cuz he managed to make 3 appointments! >:'( This world is insane. I made 5 appointments yesterday and another 4 today and yet i'm stuck in the office till 6.30pm :( !@#$%^&*(&^%$#@ FML.
On a slightly brighter note, gonna meet the girls to distribute the repackaged albums tmrw (: And launch our little surprise ^^
Okay, sorry but i wanna go back to drooling at Kiseop's abs :/ Yah yah yah i know i sound very disgusting and am very disgusting but what to do? You rarely find such things in Singapore anyway. 안녕!
Received a last minute text from Clara last night @ 1am to tell me that there's door knocking today morning @ 9.30am at AMK :/
The block today was really freaky becuz it looked exactly like those houses used when they film horror movies, whereby the doors are facing each other and it's a narrow corridor. Here's how it looks like..
Except that it's much darker in reality.
And so we knocked really quickly cuz we were both freaked out. Skipped a few floors at the end hahaha.
Rushed back down to Eunos hoping to meet Kat & Solomon for lunch but they were done by the time i reached :( So i had this for lunch instead..
So hungry, so hot, so sleepy and so sad cuz i didn't get to eat the nice yongtaufoo :'(
Made 5 appointments today (: Solomon got really depressed and forced me to stop calling. And so i did... Finally met up with WT @ our usual place while she drooled over her CFG, caught up on stuffs and she said something like this..
"Even though you're a total kpop siao, i'm actually glad that at least you're happier now. Last time you'll be really emo and everything, but now you're a lot happier and this kpop thing distracts you from all the y'know.. stuffs."
@#$%^&*^%!@##$%^!@# Can't express anything else except !@#$%^&*&^%$#@ It was only 3 seconds into video and i was spazzing already. How can he be so cute how!
So hot so cute so handsome so adorable so lovely sooooo amazing. Taemin ah, why must you do this to me! And btw, that doll he was painting on and he has that look on his face... *melts*
But i honestly think that Taem is playing the girl in this MV! Nehzz, my baby always become the girl character. So fated to be the female. Y'know how they always love to make my baby the girl! I can list you like a handful of examples already lor.. 1) HelloBaby Rich man and Poor Man (Taem is poor man's wife) 2) HelloBaby MongRyong & ChunHyang (Taem is ChunHyang) 3) Couple Dance on StarKing with Minho (Taem is the girl) 4) Taem cross dressing as a girl 5) Taem dancing to Gee as a girl
He's always either the baby or the girl. But he's awesome (:
Okay i should really stop spazzing. I feel so disgusting now but omgahhh can't help it, let me go crazy for awhile more thankyouverymuch.
Anyway, rushed down to The Central after work to meet Lesley and Denise and did what we were supposed to (which will turn out awesome, i know it will!) Planned the remaining meetups for the album collection and whatnots. Love love mega love them <3
Oh btw, it was a big mistake to post that my Kiseop lookalike guy didn't come to work today becuz now, Solomon can't stop asking me who is it.
Him : "Tell me leh tell me leh! Who is it?" Me : "Nooo way." Him : "Tell me lah, i won't make fun of you one la! Who's your eyecandy!!" Me : "Noooooooope." Him : "I give you one appointment, you tell me"
HAHAHHA THAT CHEATER.
Aiyah anyway i don't think he'll look that much like Kiseop if i look at him close up. Right? Nevermind, let's see if he comes to work tmrw. HEEHEE! ^^
Alrighty, done being disgusting. Back to more planning for the Shawols and their collection (:
Chilling with my babe tmrw <3 <3 <3 Miss her like shizzzzz. (but not as much as Taem) HAHHAHAHHAHA kiddingz yo!
KLUB @ ZOUK LAST NIGHT WAS AWWWWESOME! Can't get enough of it seriously. Gonna go again the next time, totallaye worth it.
Danced, sang, jumped, like there's no tomorrow. In 4 inches heels somemore! I think i'm damn pro now ah, can jump for 3 to 4 hours in that kind of heels ^^ But at the end of the night Manda and I were nearly dying cuz it was hurting but ahhwell, so worth it. I think i've never felt so carefree and crazy for a long long time already. Jumped and danced at every song that was playing and it's so nice to see everyone go crazy together, partying the night away. It's like 1 big kpop family, lol.
Manda met her "soulmate" there again (: Sigh, good things like this don't happen everyday. HAHAHAH! I hope she sees this.
And today i met the girls for the album ordering meetup. LOVE THEM seriously. So thankful that i got to know them through this SHINee thingy <3 Collected orders, planned some stuffs, had dinner, and finally shopped for the boys gifts (:
