Baby all grown up ♥

I was searching the net for updates on the boys, to post on SWSG's tumblr, and i came across this particular page.. and it was spamming Taem's pics.

And so....

This is why i love him so much. So dorky yet such an awesome dancer on stage (Y)

And can someone please tell me why a guy can look 10 times prettier than a girl?!

The kind of flawless skin that even i don't have, lol.

Fucking pretty right?

People always say i like a girl, but wait.. Wait till you see him dancing on stage, then you'll see why.

See, this is why it's so hard for me to stop liking him and move to another ship, HAHAH! /bullshit

♥♥♥

Don't get me started on Kisp.

OH BTW! I PASSED MY BTT hehehe -throws confetti-

I was so freaked out that i was gonna fail, i didn't dare look at my result haha.

Andddd, i saw this cute guy at the bus stop and he boarded the same bus and sat beside me, HAHA #awkwardmomentsinlife

All is good now!

xoxo, W

19th

I had a really awesome day today, but my pictures all turn out really bad cuz my face is really last warning.

Will consider if i should upload the pictures tmrw!

For now, time to hit the sack. BTT tmrw is freaking me out and i'm kinda not looking forward to work tmrw.

I'll end off with how much i love Lesley, Xueqing, Seowhung, my Sis and my Mum. For today.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

xoxo, W

ugghh damn i'm so pissed at how my pictures turned out :(((

Dinner celebration

Am too lazy to post anything right now, i just wanna play Maple for awhile.

Hahahahahaaaa! Yez i'm back into the Maple phase all over again \m/

So bye! :)

My entire week is packed! I love packed weeks :) Meeting all my girls this week!

I iz happygal_92! (Y)

xoxo, W

Quit

Can i quit living? Cuz if i can i would. I'm so sick of living this life, i just wanna leave. Somewhere. Anywhere.

To be honest, i'm not even excited about turning 19 in a week's time. Infact i'm leaning towards hating it. What's the point of turning 19 when i don't feel like one? It's just another frikkin reminder that i'm 19 yet not being treated like one. What's the point of wanting to throw me a party with that money when all i want is to go overseas with my friends?

I DON'T WANT A PARTY. I just wanna get outta this place for awhile, let myself out of this mess and get my mind sorted out. 8 days isn't very long. And i'm not even asking for A SINGLE CENT from you for the trip. I'm using my own money and even though i'm broker than ever, i'll find my way. Cuz you have no idea how much i want and need a holiday. A break from this messed up place.

I'm 19 for god's sake. You gotta learn to trust me and let me live my life the way i want to. Honestly it's not that hard, if you bother to stop trying to go against me and think for just 1 second.

I think you should be thankful that i'm not those girls who club and drink and party all night like nobody's business. And i don't splurge YOUR money. Heck, i don't even splurge on anything. 18 years of my life, i have not bought a single branded good for myself. So? Am i not a good enough daughter for you to put your trust in? Do you realllyyyy think i'm a spoilt kid? Is this trip too much to ask for? No. I really don't think so.

I think i'm being really good to not be asking you for a single cent.

18 years. I've only traveled once on a plane. And the furthest i've been after that trip, is Malaysia. AND HAVE I EVER COMPLAINED?! No.

I know that me talking about it here isn't gonna help with anything but i'm so pissed, i need to rant. I need parents who can understand, not overly protective parents who thinks that i'm those kind of girls who does stupid things -.- Fuck.

I hate it. I really hate it that my parents think so little of me. Cuz if you're my parents, you should know me well enough to know that i'm not that kind of girl. And i'll never be.

xoxo, W

Maybe we've passed our time. Maybe it's been too long.

xoxo, W


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Mess with my heart & mind

When everything ended, i used to count the days. Now i've lost count, and idk if i should stop.

There's something messing with me inside my head and my heart. I'm hung up on the past, no doubt i am. But which part of the past? That i can't figure.

And i keep debating with myself. All the time i wonder, if i'm missing him or just the memories. If the him now is the same guy i knew in the past.

But that's fine. Every day it'll hurt lesser and lesser. And eventually it won't hurt anymore i guess? Just eventually...

It's make or break baby. And i miss you quite terribly.

xoxo, W

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Just not meant to be

Some time ago, i was at Dhoby with manda and this lady approached me for some modelling-ish stuff. Thought it's just another scam but i just gave my number since it's pretty harmless. (i mean, my number's already pasted all over swsg. So what's the biggy right?)

Then recently she called me. Just felt like i wanna give it a shot and try something new. My girls went down with me today for the interview & i was that close to taking it up. Till i saw the amount of money i needed for the photoshoot for the portfolio.

It's a good change, and i want that change. I mean.. I'm not the girl who people usually would take second glances at. Honestly i don't even think i look good. But the fact that i got scouted (for idk what reasons) made me feel like at the very least, there's smth i could do. And someone actually acknowledges that.

If i had the money, i'd go for it. Too bad i'm not born with a silver spoon. And too bad that i'm trying so hard to be independent. Cuz i made a silly deal with myself that i'm not gonna ask for money from dad unless i really need it.

Wow. Feels like i'm really taking the leap. Don't wanna be a kid anymore.
Cuz i realized that if i'm too dependent on others, i'm gonna die if they end up leaving me.

I know how it feels like being so clueless and feeling like the sky just collapsed on me. It sucks. And it'll keep sucking till you decide to do something to change it and learn from it. The tears, they're inevitable. It still hurts as i type this cuz i guess some things just won't heal. It'll hurt lesser but it won't thoroughly go away.. Just gotta get used to it.

I'm still a mess. But i'm really trying really hard to pick myself up and start again.

Whether or not things go the way i hope they'll go, i'll still have to accept it.

Cuz this is life. And i'm gettng too emotional. Aye.. Haha.

xoxo, W

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Episode 23 & 24

I have never cried so much watching Greys before. But tonight i did.

Episodes 23 and 24 literally took all my tears out of me.

I love Greys so frikkin much that i feel like becoming a surgeon but i can't cuz i freak out at the sight of blood. Yeah okay that was redundant.

I really love how they so willingly risked their lives for one another :')

Touched max.

Episode 26 or Season 7 please be out fast!

xoxo, W

Greys

Torres: Talk to her!

Sloan: I just did! She doesn't want to..

Torres: No i'm not talking about Teddy, i'm talking about Lexi. You still love Lexi, and sleeping around isn't gonna fix that. And the reasons that you broke up, little sloan & the baby, they're not reasons anymore.

Sloan: She's with Karev.

Torres: Yeah well, Betty married Mike but she never got over Henry!

Sloan: What..?

Torres: Look, you don't want 50 years to go by and then realize that you let the love of your life get away! So go..! Try..!

Sloan: You gonna try again with Robins?

Torres: *sigh*

Sloan: Why not?

Torres: Because my reasons are still reasons.

Sloan: Lex... I'm still in love with you. I tried not to be, but it didn't work. Little Sloan's gone, there's no baby, and i don't wanna sleep around. I want another chance. I'm in love with you.

Lexi: Karev he's.. Mark, i have a boyfriend.

Sloan: I know, i'm saying you have a husband.

The reason why i love Greys so frikkin much.

I get drilled with really awesome words, phrases, with every episode i watch. LOVE.IT.

xoxo, W

180 Degrees.

I miss updating my blog regularly. Now each time i'm here, my mind goes blank. Ughh.

Gonna run around SG tmrw to pass people their stuffs and finally thread my eyebrows with Manda. It's so irritating when i wanna thread my upper lip but there's a pimple/cut on it. EVERY TIME! Annoys the hell out of me.

Anywayz, i'm gonna try something new in life (: I hope it'll work.

Sick of my mundane lifestyle.

PLUS, I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT! This will give me the motivation and the need to lose these excess baggages. Yepz.

Gonna carve out something for myself and get out of this mess.

xoxo, W

Misery loves company

Busy busy week.

Trying so hard to sell everything in the shortest time possible that i'm even selling it online. Oh the horror... Editing the pictures and everything. -pulls hair-

I'm still praying reeeealllllyyyy hard that my trip will be possible. -fingers and toes crossed- Cuz i really wanna go, even though i might or might not see Taem and the boys, i'll still go. I can still see Kisp and Siwon y'know... Ugh. Frustration.

Slots @ ICC are all messed up and filled. Wanna try to spam work also cannot, hurr :'( Life sucks when everything is working against you.

I. WILL. PERSEVERE!

This trip is a must must must go. And Taem, please be there..

xoxo, W

Every day is a battle.

A battle to fight back the urge to think, text, and feel.

Every single frikkin' day.

xoxo, W

I don't need parents who throws a fit whenever they feel like it. And i really hate it that they refuse to acknowledge the fact that i'm nine-fucking-teen. Not 9.

You're driving me closer and closer to leaving this house. Won't even call it a home cuz it's not. Cuz ever since Kylee is here, both of you practically took her as your own kid. More than both of us. Everything is kylee kylee kylee. Why? Because you get paid looking after her instead of us?

And how hard is it to understand that not everyone who goes overseas with their friends will definitely get raped and killed there? You think people want to rape me or kill me? You think i'm worth that much money that i'll attract these kind of attention? Hello, you're not some famous rich ass person. And not everyone is as paranoid as you. If their parents can let them go, i really don't understand why you can't.

Don't tell me "you are big enough to know how to help out at home" and then don't contradict yourself by saying "you think you're old enough to go overseas with your friends?" Fuck.

I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT PARENTS THESE DAYS THINK.

One day i'll really leave home, and i'll really really rebel. Then you'll see that this me is much better than the me i can become.

ZOMG

Emotional day today.

• Got up at 8am to settle the template for my badges
• Rushed down to central to print the pictures
• Came home, tried to do the badges, realized the pictures turned out like crap, went back down to get a refund.
• Dad drove me down to Peninsular to collect my mugs, print my pictures AGAIN
• Rushed down to Scape to make the badges. (thankgod for the girls)>
• Badge cutter wasn't working properly so we had to use scissors to cut out 1 by 1 -.-
• Went back down to peninsular to return the machine after dinner.

HOMG SUPER MEGA ULTRA TIRING DAY.

My emotions went up and down like crazy and did i mention that SCAPE IS SO FUCKING HOT?! My perspiration was literally DRIPPING from my face -.- Pffft.

I really can't express how much i love the girls. They helped me so much today :')

-touched-

Okay i'm gonna start booking my lessons now baiz!

xoxo, W

My favourite boys ♥

Awesome day today with the girls. Super thankful that they helped me with this :)

And i got to talk to my favourite boys! :')

During rehearsal Taem talked to me, but for the actual live broadcast, Minho was the one who asked me the question.

My favourite, 2MIN ♥♥

VIDEOS FIRST!

asdfklsklaiosiuqhwkdjnaksasdkuwhkjn can't describe how nervous i was and how happy i am now.

The interview :) I really hope Taem saw my mushroom board, since i spent the whole night trying to draw a mushroom that size.. -.-

Key saw the Lesley's board again! And he was smiling to himself HAHA!

And Minho clapped for me, teeeeheeee! :') ♥♥

They sang Hello after that and i really really really love Taem's hair like that!

Okay pictures! :)

Lesley who's totally not nervous at all. LOL ♥

Jamiemiemie! ♥

The only other Taem fan i can get along very well with!

♥ Xueqing!

Our Taem boards :)

Spent the night doing this, and got nagged at by a half-asleep Dad.

I'm suuuuuper happy today. I promise to brush up on my korean now. Thanks a billion to Lesley & Jamie for helping me with today :')

♥♥♥

xoxo, W

Awakening

Last paper today and i'm 90% sure when i say i'll fail today's paper. I'll leave the other 10% for a miracle.

Walked out of the exam room feeling worst than crap, with that heavy feeling in my heart knowing that i've probably shot myself in the foot for not studying hard enough for it. But what's done can't be undone and there's no point crying over it. Still, it felt horrible.

But that aside, i'm glad it's the holidays. I have so many things i wanna do and there's so many places i wanna go to. I'm praying extra extra hard that dad will give me the green light for the trip with the girls. *fingers crossed*

So anyway, i've been thinking and i guess i really need to stop. It's not gonna get me anywhere and i can't keep feeling this way because at the end of the day, i'm the one who ends up feeling hurt and horrible again.

But i don't want things to be one-sided anymore. And i don't wanna be the only one fighting this.

I don't know if i did the right thing but that was all i wanted.. or needed. To know that things are, at the very least, fine.

What can i do to start feeling better? What can i do to turn things around?

Or how about, what can i do to make you understand?

xoxo,W