If it's you...

What do you do when the one thing that you finally believed in, turns into a faded memory? All along i used to think that if i waited long enough, he would feel it. But did he? Now it's like everything has blended into a terrible blur that i can't see where i'm going, and i don't know what i'm doing. It wasn't supposed to feel this horrible. How did something so sweet turn into the horrible mess it is now?

I'm not someone who gives up easily and once i set my heart on something or someone, i don't waver easily. But it's a pity because unfortunately, i didn't matter enough. I couldn't keep the heart. His heart.

Whatever it is, i will survive. I'm not devasted or dramatically out of love but it kinda sucks that i'm not someone who is good enough to keep hearts. Perhaps one day, i'll find someone who is willing to give me just as much as i can give him. And i'll keep waiting however long it may take to finally find that someone. Because if there's anything that i have learned from HIMYM, it's that if someone is worth the wait, no amount of time is too long. And yes, he might break my heart along the way but he'll also be the one who will mend it for me.

I know it doesn't stop here. I know that no matter how many times i fall, and get my heart broken, there is someone out there who will come along & make everything better.

xoxo, W
wherever you are.
whoever you are.
i'm waiting for you.

Evening Sky

Love this song for various reasons :)

xoxo, W 

I wonder

Sometimes i wonder what is the next thing life is going to throw at me. And i can't help but wonder if i'll survive it. I keep wondering what things would be if i didn't make the choices i've made. Where would i be now, and which direction would i be heading to eventually? And i don't know if i'm living my life the way i'm supposed to be. Right now everything seems like a blur. It's like i'm just going through the motion of life, doing things for the sake of it, living life day by day. What am i doing, really?

Tonight...? Tonight i feel like a complete lump of demoralized crap. Because why? Because i'm someone who is too affected by my feelings and because i'm someone who lets my heart get the better of me. And it's annoying because they say "follow your heart" but i did and where am i now? I thought i made the right choice, i thought i could do anything as long as my heart was happy. I just never thought something so right can go so wrong. And the worst part of it all is that there is nothing i can do to change this. I made the choice, the decision was made, and now i can't change it. I can't rewind time. Although now i really wish i could because everything's a mess and i don't know if i can get out of this feeling the way i was before. Sigh... This sucks.

I just wanna curl up in bed until i feel better. Baaaaahhhhhhhhh. Sometimes i wish life would throw all the punches at me in one go, so that i don't have to keep feeling horrible.

xoxo, W