Mirrors

"If he really cares about you, he'll show you. If he really loves you, he'll be chasing after you." 

She told me this today. And i know. I emptied my heart out to her, and she understood. The kind where i don't have to explain how i feel, i just say it and she gets it. 

So i figured if this is how it has been for the past year, the answers are clear. I guess i don't need to hear them from him anymore. I kinda already know. But there will always be this part of me that feels otherwise. That thinks that the old him is still somewhere in there, just hiding. But then again, whatever it is, this is exhausting. I honestly feel like i've fought so long to end up nowhere. Back then if you asked me is it worth the while, i would tell you 'yes', in a heartbeat. Today if you ask me, i really don't know. 

Would you fight for someone who isn't fighting for you? Would you fight for someone whose heart isn't with you? And would you fight for someone who keeps falling for others? It gets harder and harder to fight with each passing day. 

And someone once told me "sometimes you gotta let everything fall apart, to see if it'll fall back into place again." i guess so... I mean if it was meant to be, it would. However long we may take, we'd find our way back into love. But my faith in this is wearing thin. 

But i'll survive. Today she told me "When love is supposed to come to you, it'll come. And you can't push it away." Then perhaps i'll wait till my time comes. With the right one. Just, whatever it is, enough with the mind games. I want something real, true, and sure. Is that really too much to ask for? Sigh. 

xoxo, W