I just wish i could live my life the way i really want to. Not based on how others want me to. I wanna be happy. I wanna be able to tell my kids or grandkids in the future about the life i've lived. I know this sounds silly but i'm serious. Just like how my parents or my grandma would tell me stories about their childhood & i'll always be so amazed.
That aside, I feel like a puppet. Like i'm doing things to make people happy but i'm dying inside yet there's really nothing i can do. I'm 20, but my dad still wants to control the time i sleep.
No matter how hard i try to talk him out of it, or how hard i cry. I don't think it's gonna change. What else am i supposed to do?
Sometimes i get so sick of everything bad that's going on, i'll just cry my fill & sleep it off hoping that it'll blow over tomorrow. But half the time it never happens.
Idk where i found the strength previously, but i'll find it again. I'm just mad at how my world keeps crashing down on me when i least expect it. Next time just give me a sign.
And with all these happening, i just wanna run to someone for a hug. Just to feel better knowing that someone is there.
Ahhhhhhhhhwell. This is life. And reality likes to slap you in the face when you're offguard. I'll live.
xoxo, W
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