I wonder

Sometimes i wonder what is the next thing life is going to throw at me. And i can't help but wonder if i'll survive it. I keep wondering what things would be if i didn't make the choices i've made. Where would i be now, and which direction would i be heading to eventually? And i don't know if i'm living my life the way i'm supposed to be. Right now everything seems like a blur. It's like i'm just going through the motion of life, doing things for the sake of it, living life day by day. What am i doing, really?

Tonight...? Tonight i feel like a complete lump of demoralized crap. Because why? Because i'm someone who is too affected by my feelings and because i'm someone who lets my heart get the better of me. And it's annoying because they say "follow your heart" but i did and where am i now? I thought i made the right choice, i thought i could do anything as long as my heart was happy. I just never thought something so right can go so wrong. And the worst part of it all is that there is nothing i can do to change this. I made the choice, the decision was made, and now i can't change it. I can't rewind time. Although now i really wish i could because everything's a mess and i don't know if i can get out of this feeling the way i was before. Sigh... This sucks.

I just wanna curl up in bed until i feel better. Baaaaahhhhhhhhh. Sometimes i wish life would throw all the punches at me in one go, so that i don't have to keep feeling horrible.

xoxo, W